Robot maid,
[Note: Parody of Masked Rider V3.]
Tama 3!
[Robot Maid Tama 3]
Robot maid Tama is the mechanical doll of your dreams.
She was destroyed in the coup d'etat incident brought on by the Fuyo Project,
but underwent three reconstructions at the hands of Gengai of the Odd Jobs
family to be reborn as a new robot maid version 3!
Make fists, open them up, clap your hands...
Stop right there.
You people are...!
Transform! Tama 3!
[Note: Tama's pose is from Masked Rider V3]
Transform!
[Note: Kagura and Shinpachi are posing as the first and second Masked Rider.]
Go!
Tama 3!
Monster who threatens peace! Prepare to meet your end!
I shall finish you instead!
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Hold it right there.
What're you doing here?!
How many times are you going to make me say this?!
Regardless of how much you want to help people,
you don't have to go around protecting world peace each and every time you get a day off!
That goes for you guys, too!
Ouch!
We did a cool transformation, so we're okay!!
So this is where you were, Monster!
You!
I'm coming for you! Ginbat!
I'll leave it in your hands, Kapu.
[Note: Parody of Kibatto from Masked Rider Kiba. He and Gintoki share the same voice actor.]
Muuaaahhh! I'll crush you all!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Gin-chan, is it okay for that hero to fight?
[What's wrong with having all sorts of heroes?!]
[What audience is GinTama made for? We're reflecting on that even now.]
[We were scolded last week. So this week, we're cleaning toilets as an apology.]
[Also, there's a new ending today. Please watch the show to the very end, okay?]
[Shinsengumi Headquarters]
Here is this week's cleanup duty roster.
Squad 3: dojo. Squad 2: kitchen. Squad 5: patrol cars. Squad 1...
toilets...
[Toilets]
Gross...I feel sick.
We're going to spend the next week with these filthy toilets.
I feel depressed.
It splashed on my face!
Let's call it a day and get back to our jobs.
That wouldn't be right.
What do you people think cleaning is?
Have you heard this story?
When the graffiti-covered subways in a crime-filled city were cleaned up,
the vandals who did the graffiti disappeared and crime decreased.
Don't you see?
Filthy surroundings soil the soul.
A healthy soul is nurtured by healthy surroundings.
Keeping our surroundings clean...
This is also a part of the Shinsengumi's job.
Seizo-san...
Seizo?
Seizo Kumanaku. He joined Squad 1 during the recent reorganization of squads.
[Note: Seizo Kumanaku is a play on "kumanaku seiso" which means to completely clean something.]
He's well known for his extreme fastidiousness.
Listen, everyone.
Clean until you'd be willing to lick the urinal.
Make it your responsibility to clean your urinal.
Okay. One, two.
One, two.
How does it feel?
Don't you feel your soul becoming cleaner as the filth washes away from the urinal?
That's right. Cleaning is an act that polishes your soul.
You're right. It's as though my soul is being cleansed.
One, two. One, two. Cleaning is a lot of fun, Seizo-san.
Captain, what are you doing?
Well, there was a booger on your forehead.
That's a mole.
But I got if off.
What have you done?!
That was a mole? Sorry about that.
Why'd you flush it down?!
My mole...
Hey, now's our chance...
Just a minute! You haven't finished cleaning!
Wait...
Oh, they're gone.
They're hopeless.
What're you going to do? Shall we leave, too?
Captain, even though only men live here, these conditions are abhorrent.
No one tries to keep the urinals clean when they use them.
No one tries to clean the toilets.
They dribble urine outside the urinals as though that's how it's supposed to be.
They don't wash their hands.
They walk about headquarters covered with germs and
touch everything with their germ-covered hands.
The germs are transmitted from person to person
and from objects to people, and multiply...
This headquarters is a germ-infested den.
The stagnation caused by the germs
will eventually cloud the soul of the Shinsengumi.
A revolution is needed.
The Shinsengumi must change, starting here at its source: the toilets.
That's right...
A toilet revolution!
["Cleaning the Toilet Cleanses the Soul"]
Huh?
You want new toilets?
Yes. It's a suggestion by my squad member, Seizo Kumanaku.
He requests that we at least change the faucets
from handle-type to sensor-type.
We don't have the funds or the time to spend on such useless projects.
If you have free time to spend cleaning toilets,
spend it cleaning the Anti-Foreigner Faction in the city.
Begging the Vice-Chief's pardon,
but do you wash your hands after doing your business?
Huh? Yeah, I wash them.
Then let me ask you: why do you wash your hands?
Why do your hands become dirty when you do your business?
You know damn well-I don't feel right unless I wash them.
Don't try to hide it.
To be more precise,
it's because you touched something that is certainly filthy, isn't that right?
What is it? What did you touch? What is it that's filthy?
Well it's...
you know...that.
That's right
No matter how a man does it,
he has to touch that filthy something that
hangs between his legs when he does his business!
In other words,
the act of washing one's hands after doing one's business
is a way of resetting oneself after touching that thing.
It is an important rite of purification for going on with one's life!
However!
Are you aware that here at the Shinsengumi Headquarters,
people think they're performing this rite when in fact, they are not?!
All right.
Let's call the germs that get on your hands
when you touch your thing, tamakin!
[Note: Tama (balls) + kin (germ).]
You do your business. And your hands are covered with tamakin.
Hey, cut it out. Don't use me as an example.
You're going to wash your tamakin-covered hands,
so you turn the handle on the faucet. You wash off the tamakin.
Indeed, your hands are clean at this point.
However! However! Take a step back and think about it.
Okay? What did you do just now to wash off the tamakin, Vice-Chief?
Hey, you're getting a little too friendly.
That's right!
To turn on the water,
you turned the handle of the faucet with your tamakin-covered hand!
Of course, a large number of tamakin are now on the faucet!
Then, after washing off the tamakin, Vice-Chief, what did you do?!
What did you do with those clean hands?
You turned the tamakin-covered handle once more to turn off the water!
Vice-Chief, ultimately, you've helped spread the tamakin!
Don't make it sound so bad!
Why're you making it sound as though I'm the only one who does it?!
If that's the case,
then all of you who use that faucet are covered with tamakin, as well!
Too bad, Hijikata-san.
I don't wash my hands after doing my business.
I just leave the toilet.
You're directly spreading the tamakin!
Vice-Chief, do you understand now?
The way things are, the Shinsengumi is covered with tamakin.
The only way to break through this situation is to change
the faucets from handle-type to sensor-type.
You think too much. You can't go about your life if you worry about germs.
Utterly ridiculous!
Vice-Chief.
We're grilling corn on the cob. Would you like to join us?
What the-!!
What is that?!
Did you see it, Vice-Chief?
Tamakin...
Tamakin?! You mean that?!
That can't be...it's everywhere...
It's...
Hey, Toshi. What're you doing?
C'mon, let's eat. Sogo, Seizo-san, you guys want to join us?
Hey! Kondo-san...Kondo-san's covered in an enormous amount of tamakin!
It's probably because he touches his thing an awful lot.
The eggs have completely hatched.
That's no longer Kondo-san. He's nothing but a walking, talking tamakin.
How can we bring him back to normal?
A toilet revolution...it's the only way.
[Toilets]
That settles the installation of sensor-type faucets.
However, there remains a mountain of problems.
Look at this. We just cleaned it moments ago, but look how bad it is.
I can understand a few stray drops, but this completely missed the mark.
Seeing it again, it certainly does look terrible.
It's probably the result of using the toilet together.
When people go to the toilet in a group,
they talk and laugh and tend to forget about what's below,
causing urine to fly in all directions.
Our first priority will be to establish a "no group urination" rule.
Leave that to me. I'll add it to our rules.
However, even a single person is still cause for worry.
I've got it!
What if we soil the urinal before they use it?
Think about how you urinate in a Western-style toilet.
If there's something stuck to the bowl...
you know how you unconsciously aim at it to shoot it off?
We'll use that psychology and make it so they'll aim into the urinal.
Hijikata-san, you've just casually revealed an embarrassing habit.
Is that what you always do?
No, I don't do that. I heard about it somewhere.
No, I think it's a great idea.
Okay, then...
How about this?
Huh? What is that, Sogo?
That's my mole!
I felt bad about what I did, so I only pretended to flush it down.
I was hoping I'd find a good use for it somewhere.
How is this a "good" use?!
You want someone to aim his urine at my mole?
I see. Sorry about that.
Don't flush it down! You have no respect for a person's body parts!
C'mon, never mind that. Dirty it up a bit. Anything will do.
Oh...then I'll use this.
What's the meaning of that?!
It's the dirt of the Shinsengumi.
Dirty is what you are on the inside! Quit monkeying around-take that off!
Someone's coming. Hide!
Do you think it's going to work?
Don't be silly! That's not going to work!
Okay, they left.
Oh...it didn't work.
You see.
They did a number two.
What happened?!
It worked too well.
It would seem their hatred of the object was too great.
This photo has a hole poked through it.
What kind of urine does that?! Do they hate me that much?!
We can't have them doing number twos when we want them to clean up this place.
And it's no use if they don't see it as dirt.
What do you say we use reverse psychology?
We don't make them urinate in the urinal.
We make it so that they can't urinate anywhere else.
In other words,
we create a situation where they can't ever dribble urine on the floor.
What kind of situation is that?!
Someone's coming.
Ah, I'm gonna pee my pants...
You were pretty good.
You weren't bad yourself.
I wonder how many years it's been since I've seen the stars like this?
I'd forgotten the sky was this big.
It's kind of neat to do this sort of thing every once in a while.
Who'd be able to urinate?!
No one would interrupt a friendly moment between two guys.
That's no good! In fact, it's infuriating.
Are you two planning to repeat that crummy skit of yours
every time someone comes to pee?!
Then...
What if we put holes in this plywood sheet, so they can stick their...
What sort of perverted play is this?!
Listen, a lot of different guys are going to stick their things in!
It's unsanitary!
They'll be fine with it.
I'll draw a woman's face here so they won't be uncomfortable.
Hey! Now it's turning into something totally different!
I told you, it's unsanitary! For both body and mind!
Kumanaku, say something...
Can you make the hole a little larger for me?
What're you adjusting the size for?! Forget the ego!
The problem is not the hole. It's the mouth!
Do you think we can broadcast this?!
I see. If that's the problem...
If we turn it around, no problem.
Hey, that doesn't solve the sanitation issue at all!
Now, now...
Somebody's coming.
Hide.
[Two minutes later]
It's awfully quiet.
What's he doing?
[Five minutes later]
When's he going to leave? Take a peek.
...I'm...stuck.
I don't know why.
I don't know the reason,
but our Shinsengumi Headquarters was suddenly taken over by mysterious germs.
Upon waking one morning,
we were attacked without warning by the germs.
It happened, I believe,
several days after the Vice-Chief began talking some nonsense
about a toilet revolution or something.
Because of the excessiveness of the revolution,
everyone became afraid of going near the toilet.
But no one can stop their bodily functions.
Headquarters became a horrible mess.
It was a lawless area, with no God or Buddha. A wretched hell.
Perhaps that was to blame.
Wrath...
Yes, it was wrath...
the toilet god's wrath brought down a hammer of retribution
upon us for desecrating the toilet.
My god...is this our headquarters?!
Seizo-san, what do we do?
Cut it down at its roots!
In other words, we have no choice but to attack the germs' origins.
Origins?
The toilet! The toilet is the root of all evil!
Let's go, Hijikata-san.
Okay.
Charge!
[Toilet]
My god!
Can't even tell where the urinals and toilet bowls are...
What's that?!
The core! That's the tamakin!
You say it's the tamakin, but...
It's probably because he touches his thing an awful lot.
The eggs have completely hatched.
That's no longer Kondo-san.
He's nothing but a walking, talking tamakin.
Then that means it's...!
Kondo-san!
Two months later.
The tamakin grew at an incredible rate.
It swallowed Kabukicho
and eventually enveloped all of Edo.
[Shut Down]
A fierce battle of survival began between the human race and tamakin.
[Shin]
That's...!
Kondoooo
[Note: Parody of the Ohmu from Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.]
ooohmu!
Kondo-san...?!
There's so many.
It's the worst possible scenario.
Kumanaku!
[Note: Parody of the costumes from Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.]
I'm guessing that the cells rapidly continued to divide.
The host's-our chief's-metabolism couldn't keep up,
resulting in the host himself dividing.
This stampede is identical to the run of the lemmings.
This stampede won't stop until it destroys the entire world.
You idiot! Think of something! This all started because you...
Katakuriko Matsudaira, The God of Destruction, has arrived!
[Note: Parody of a costume from Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.]
Our targets are those god-knows-what caterpillars! Forward!
Pops Matsudaira.
Fire cannons!
Pops!
Sogo...It's up to you and me-
Shinsengumi members from the very beginning-to stop this.
Is that so? In that case, I'll use my secret ability.
You see I am the descendent of the most evil tribe ever to walk the Earth.
[Note: Parody of Giant Warrior from Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.]
I think he's melting!
It's been getting hot recently.
That's irrelevant!
He did it! We might have a chance.
Okay, once more!
Hey! You're spent after just one shot?!
Vice-Chief!
[Note: Parody of the glider from Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.]
Kondo-san! Please stop!
Kondo-Ohmu.
Kondo-san!
Vice-Chief!
Vice-Chief...
[Toilet]
[Preview]
Could you be...Mayo-sama?
The next episode... "They Say Soy Sauce On Pudding Tastes Like Sea Urchin,
But Soy Sauce On Pudding Only Tastes Like Pudding and Soy Sauce."
[Chief of Police Katakuriko Matsudaira's daughter, Kuriko Matsudaira makes an appearance after a long absence.]
[The fateful reunion with Mayo 13. (Administrative message) Mu-san, thank you for your hard work! See you again next time!]